Happiness Quotient t
Do people we love make us happy?
Are our friends supposed to be pleasure pumps to keep our happiness tanks filled?
Could there be a universal equation to keep our happiness quotient high?
When we perceive people with sky-high expectations, they always seem to disappoint us. In the quest for a relation which floods our life with happiness, we often forget to consider that we also play a major role in creating that happy quotient in our lives. In other words, there could be equally high cross-expectations from the other side also.
The question that arises then is that which part of the cultivation of a relation should be your priority to be happy?
Is your focus on sowing the seed of relationship in the fertile soil of giving? Or do I directly focus on the gains (not grains) of receiving through the process of harvesting from the relationship?
Most people are only bothered or enthusiastic about receiving happiness from their friends. On the other hand, they have absolutely no thought or inclination to give happiness.
A vital clue to real happiness in relationships lies in the way how the God of happiness, Krsna, lived his life.
Life of Krsna –
Krsna’s life was centered on giving happiness to people he loved.
While in Vrindavan, he knew exactly which melody to play in order to churn people’s hearts at different times of the day. If there would be any danger to the community, he would put his life at risk. Therefore, because of Krsna’s giving nature people were always more than ready to offer their lives at his beck and call.
In short, Krsna always cared for others’ happiness. His friends knew they could always rely on him, come what may. Draupadi called for him during two of her greatest crisis, during vastra-haran and when Durvasa created a dilemma for her.
Arjuna turned to him (in the presence of the greatest scholars on earth) for solutions during his greatest confusions. Yudhishtir offered the greatest respect and the entire credit of winning only to Krsna when he became the emperor of the world.
Historically, with every kingdom, Krsna was instrumental in conquering.
He preferred the lasting joy of winning more friends than the joy of sitting on the throne.
He gleefully handed over the throne to someone else. Whether it was Magadha, Mathura or Hastinapura, he gave strategies to win the war, but his greater strategy was winning life-long friendships. Krsna, through his deeds spread so much happiness that in addition he received so much more.
When you contemplate on the needs, interests and concerns of others and are tuned into thinking of what really makes another happy, there is no time or predisposition to think of your own happiness. Self-absorption results in depression. Psychologically, most depressions are result of thinking too much about one’s own needs and interests. In fact, those who live thinking about the needs and concerns of others’ become world icons.
The same is true for individual relationships. A small tidal wave inside an ocean becomes a tsunami outside the ocean.
Similarly, your small efforts in giving others happiness, come back flooding into your life in the form of happiness that others give you.
When you look for your happiness exclusively, friends abandon you being aware of your selfishness. Then, you have to contend yourself with short spurts of happiness from myriad sources. But, when you focus on others’ happiness, people get helplessly drawn towards you. Moreover, what you get is a lifetime of exponential growth of mutual happiness.
IQ is about how much intelligence you have, but HQ is about how much happiness you give others. The more the HQ, the happier you will be!